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Most people expect to get married, have their marriage last a lifetime, and enjoy a marital relationship that fulfills their deepest emotional needs. Yet few people experience this type of relationship. Statistics show that approximately 20 million divorced people live in our country, and the median duration of any given marriage is just 7.2 years.
Few people consider the role that their birth order has played in developing their own personality, how it has affected their prospective spouse's personality, or how the two personalities might make it living under one roof. As a result, after the initial intoxicating infatuation ends, most married couples are left to work their way through the agonizing hangover of conflicting birth orders.
In The Birth Order Connection, Dr. Kevin Leman helps readers avoid such conflicts before they arise. He shows how to find and recognize the best and wisest choice for a life partner, provides tools to succeed in marriage, and teaches how an understanding of birth order can do wonders not only for future marriages but for those that have already begun.
- Sales Rank: #250759 in Books
- Published on: 2001-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 5.50" w x .75" l, 1.00 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 223 pages
From the Back Cover
Does your love life consist of a string of less-than-fulfilling relationships?
Do you think you've found "the one" but aren't quite ready to commit?
In either case, wouldn't you like to know ahead of time if the two of you will work?
Dr. Kevin Leman shows how you can. Using solid, objective criteria, he explains the key to finding the best life mate-birth order! In this book, he describes:
* How birth order has shaped you and the person you're thinking of marrying
* Why opposites attract and what you do need to have in common
* How to find someone who will commit to you
* Ways to build true intimacy with your date
* What to do differently the second time around
No longer will you need to waste your time with incompatible dates, hoping you'll eventually find someone who fits. Instead, learn how to recognize your perfect match and experience love as it's meant to be!
Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known psychologist, humorist, best-selling author, and radio and TV personality. He is founder and cohost of realFAMILIES and president of Couples of Promise. The author of The New Birth Order Book and Sex Begins in the Kitchen, Dr. Leman has appeared on The View, Oprah, Today, Good Morning America, and Focus on the Family.
About the Author
Dr. Kevin Leman is a former consulting psychologist for Good Morning America, president of Couples of Promise, and founder and host of RealFAMILIES.com TV. He has appeared on programs such as The View, Oprah, Focus on the Family, and The Today Show. Dr. Leman and his family live in Tucson, Arizona.
Most helpful customer reviews
48 of 54 people found the following review helpful.
Surprisingly Interesting and Useful
By mj
I picked up THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION with a bit of skepticism. How can the order of your birth have anything to do with finding the right person to marry? It almost made me want to laugh out loud. A few chapters into the book convinced me I was wrong, and I was hooked. Dr. Leman has laid out a fantastic and pragmatic guidebook of principles and steps based upon the order of your birth that really can help you find a more compatible mate (to achieve, as he amusingly puts it, "couple power").
Leman bases his thesis on the belief that your total family environment, not just your parents, shapes the kind of person you become. Firsts, middles, lasts, and onlies all have certain strengths and weaknesses that are determined by the roles that they have to play with their siblings. As a result, each birth type has a specific, better match with another birth type. Leman would've lost me if he would've played hard and fast with his rules, but he recognizes that their are exceptions. Sometimes, for example, middle children can take on the role of firstborns, depending on age gaps, the sex of the eldest, etc. It's all a bit complicated, but Leman does an excellent job of explaining the details and why it all works. The whole idea of birth order having such an effect on personality development became incredibly intriguing, but we must move on.
So what does this all have to do with relationships? As already stated, Leman believes that each birth position has a better match with another birth position. The strengths of one will counter the weaknesses of another, equaling a better match. Also, understanding birth order can help make relationships and marriages stronger because, as with personality types, to understand birth order is to better understand your spouse. Finally, Leman lays out practical paths to follow in your dating relationships. Asking seven specific questions, for example, can help you determine if you really are compatible with the person you are seeing. Recognizing red flags will help you avoid a life of marital misery. And he lists important reasons to and not to consider when you marry.
I've read quite a few books on relationships. Some are good (BOY MEETS GIRL, BOUNDARIES IN DATING) and some are not so good. THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION surprised me by being one of the best. Leman's ideas are not set in stone rules, but they are outstanding principles and guidelines that can help you make wise decisions in choosing someone to be with. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. It's well worth the ... investment. FIVE STARS.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting but not so objective
By A Customer
The author does a good job describing birth-order tendencies in an approachable way and applying knowledge about these tendencies to marriage. He does take a somewhat subjective approach, basing his conclusions on what he has seen in his marriage counseling practice and his own family, but his assertions ring true (plus the subjective approach makes the book more interesting). The author has some traditional views about dating, but he does not try to hide the fact that they are his personal views. The best thing about reading the book is that it is a fun topic to bring up in just about any conversation. Everyone has a birth order, and everyone knows people who fit the profile for their birth order and people who are exceptions. If you don't read this book, I strongly recommend reading some book on this topic.
13 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
One of the better relationship books
By A Customer
The Birth Order Connection is by far one of the better relationship books I've ever read. It helps to explain why people are the way they are and it then helps you match your spouse/significant other appropriately. I wish I had read the book years ago ... it would have saved me a lot of time, money and unnecessary heartache.
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